· I hate my life.
· I’m not fulfilled.
· Life is a disappointment.
· I am not doing what I want to do.
· I spend all my time trying to make everyone else happy, while I remain unhappy.
· I hate my life…..
These thoughts knock at the door to my mind, but I am not opening the door.
Interestingly, they come when my dreams are close to fruition……..
I admitted to a girlfriend recently that I was jealous and envious of her life. She was living my dream. She was traveling all over the world to speak at Women’s Retreats. That’s my dream.
In an envious state, the negative thinking begins:
· Why does she get to do that and I don’t?
· What is wrong with me?
· Is it because I am stupid?
· Why can’t you choose me God?
I look at my life and think I am wasting time. I am not doing what I think I should be doing to fulfill my dreams. And the knocking gets louder and louder…… to make me open the door only to hear ….. I hate my life… I hate my life….
A picture story is presented to speak into my situation……
Recently during a UFC fight, one of the fighters broke his leg during the fight. Although I did not watch it, nor could watch it, I heard the response from those who did. It was a horrific break, but what stuck in my mind was that the fighter did not know his leg was broken until he attempted to step back on it. The second he put his weight on it, his leg literally crumbled.
I feel sometimes if God allowed us to take a jumping leap into our dreams without preparation, we also would crumble. We may not be ready for what that dream would entail: sacrifice, time, criticism, praise, or the strength needed.
Psalm 85:12 & 13 says, “The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.”
God knows exactly what my dreams are.
He knows what yours are.
When he birthed those dreams in us, he also gave the gifts and talents to fulfill them.
He has already planned the resources to accomplish them.
Ephesians 2:10 promises us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
2 Timothy 2:20-22 – In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.
As I busy myself with: doing payroll for my husband’s company, caring for my four granddaughters, sharing life with my three adult children and trying to get a book written……. The Lord whispers in a still small voice,
“You consider this time a waste? In all that you are doing right now I am preparing you for what is next. You have the opportunity to speak into your granddaughters lives. You get to support your husband where he needs it, and come along side your adult kids and “do” life with them. And you think it’s a waste?”
Once again, I am humbled by God’s grace as He continues to teach me to praise Him exactly where I am. Everyone’s journey is different – it doesn’t make it less than. Circumstances and situations mold me into God’s plan for my life. Instead of dwelling on the future, I am going to be content in the present.
And kiss another small cheek……