September 28, 2010
When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. Ps. 142:3
Often, I have viewed my life as a long corridor with doors on the left and right. Mostly, the hall consisted of closed doors that I had to open and experience something or someone. But today I find myself with a different perspective. What I face now is a long corridor with numerous open doors.  Although a good situation, the problem lies with the excess of what is in some of the rooms of those open doors that have spilled out into the hallway.
As I gaze down the hall, the spillage has made it difficult to move freely. The picture of hoarding comes to mind. There is much overflow in areas that I am not able to move on. Some piles were caused by neglect, or busyness or ignorance. But the main theme I am finding right now is the doors that I should have closed. But because I allowed issues to build up and tried to cram them in a closet and ignore them, they are now flowing out onto my path of life. They should have been dealt with long ago; therefore the daunting task stands before me.
So, I have a choice to make. Crawl over the pile and pretend I don’t see it or stop and begin to sort through it? Where do I begin? Choose the one that looks the easiest or the pile with the least amount of work? Do I tackle the hardest first? Do I just sit down and cry? Do I ask for help? It is overwhelming because this will be the first of many piles.
Because I do not know where to begin and I am not sure which pile to start with, I will start right where I am. I pray for the Lord to be with me as I begin this journey and to equip me with what I need to accomplish this overwhelming feat!
As I finish the first pile, and see many more in front of me I feel a sense of relief. I know I can do this. I am determined to get this done. I like simple. I am tired of clutter, whether it is in knick knacks or relationships. Less stress is better. Recently someone posted on Facebook a little slogan that they liked. It read, “I am currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me you are one of them.” At first I chuckled but then the truth of that statement set in. Some of the piles I face are relationships.
Do you ever find that some relationships are out of balance? It is not a give and take relationship but rather a take only one. The friendship you share has to revolve around them. If you want to do something different, or you don’t want to continue to hear their woes, or endure their rudeness, that the relationship becomes rocky. Then to add insult to injury, YOU are the one to blame. I have a few of these.
I ask myself this question often, if I am having issues with numerous people, am I the common denominator?  Is it me that is causing the rift? And if so, what am I doing wrong? What do I need to change?  Take a look at your motives or patterns or attitude. For me personally when I am at this point, I find a quiet place and pour it all out to the Lord. I ask for a verse that I can write down and memorize. I ask what I need to do now. Sometimes it is go to that person and work it out……..sometimes it is stand still and work on my attitude….and sometimes it just  going to take some patience and time.
I am gaining confidence as I have worked through a few piles now. My view of things is changing. Forgiveness has played a major role. I constantly am aware of a root of bitterness trying to spring up. But I think most importantly my relationship with the Lord has changed. Sometimes the clutter in our life dims the view of Jesus. I don’t want to be in that predicament. I want to see Him clearly and hear Him loudly! Pardon me while I move on to the next pile………….