“I can’t believe you even talk to her!” my friend fumed. “After all she has said about you. She is nice to your face but the minute you turn around she is saying how stupid you are, what a rotten parent you are, and how spoiled your grandkids are.”
I sat smiling and took in her words.
She then continued, “How can you be okay with this? I think you need to tell her to keep her mouth shut. I can’t believe you are even nice to her!”
My first thought was why is she telling me this? Is SHE trying to hurt me also? Yet I considered her growing up in the ‘What About Me” era. If someone disrespects you; gather a posse, mount up then go after that person.
Secondly, I contemplated that those words though hurtful, do not define me.
· I am not stupid. 1 Corinthians 2:16 says I have the mind of Christ.
· I am not a rotten parent. Yes I’ve made many mistakes, but my kids and I have great relationships. Furthermore, I am not responsible for my adult kids actions, they are.
· I am always going to spoil my grandkids with love and affection!
Because I am learning who I am and open with my hurts and struggles, and confess my own sin, I don’t get hooked as often by others who have to put me down to build themselves up.
My heart hurts for them. Since our behavior begins in our thought life, it is sad to think of the inner turmoil going on inside that person.
How do I know? I lived there for many years as a “mental hoarder.”
I held onto every hurt, insult, injury and offense and I mean EVERY ONE OF THEM. My mind has been so cluttered with wrong thoughts and beliefs I could barely move. And trust me….. it ain’t no way to live.
As if that wasn’t a meaningful lesson in itself, upon writing this story I received a text from someone. They shared that while standing in a crowded line to get into an event, the girl in front of them was talking on her phone. She was saying some derogatory things about one of my relatives. Finally my contact leaned forward and said to that person, “It’s not very nice to talk about other people.” That person quickly hung up her phone and walked away.
Oh, the damage we would prevent if we would learn to keep our mouths shut. The wounds and insults we would avoid. And friend, I am not preaching to YOU, I am preaching to myself.
Today, I am decluttering and unpacking those things I’ve held onto for too long. Pulling one thing a time out of my hastily packed box and releasing the hurts that it caused. Once again walking the path of forgiveness and learning to let go.
I am always amazed to know that Jesus is right there with me and willingly unpacks with me. He has no problem whatsoever taking those things that I’ve held onto and discarding them. I only have to be willing to hand them over.
I am working on the process of mastering the art of being willing. Want to learn with me?